‘Welcoming the Neophytes’ 2011
The answer was Baptism
Baptism for me has been a long journey, taking a little over three years. Before the turning point in my life, I lived life to the limits; and then I pushed at the limits until they gave out, and I found myself plummeting towards self-destruction. One day you’re healthy, young, immortal, and the next day it becomes all too clear that you are very much human.
I found myself gravely ill and even spent a week in an intensive care unit. The first night I spent there was the night I believe I almost died. The room before me opened up. There were no walls, no ceiling; just the heat of flames and the tears of my relatives gone before me. I felt overwhelming despair and shame. The clichéd thing to say is that my life flashed before my eyes, and for me, it actually did. I saw all the wrong I did, all the people I hurt, all the pain and destruction I left in my wake. I prayed in those final moments, for the chance to set it all right. And then I heard a voice, without actually hearing a voice. It was there, inside my head, calling to me to look beyond the frightening scene before me. And I looked past the flames and saw the most beautiful of scenes. In the background stood Jesus and at his side the Immaculate Mother. He stood there looking on while Mary smiled and kept my attention. And then, though still afraid, I felt less so and was able to pass on into sleep. When I awoke the next morning, I knew what had happened. I knew that I had been given a second chance.
After that, I told my story to everyone who came to visit me. Most thought I was high on the morphine that was given to dull the pain of surgery. Very few actually believed my story, and I eventually stopped telling it. However, I was filled with a new feeling; a feeling of intense gratitude and a desire to really change my life and become a better person. But then the feeling started to fade ad I turned to God again for the answer.
“My Heavenly Father, please show me the way forward so that I can hold on to this new spark inside and never let it go out.”
The answer was BAPTISM.
The reason for my long-winded story is this; unlike most people who undergo baptism while searching for something they long for, I felt like baptism was the next step on my journey to knowing God the Father and the Son better. And so for me the actual ceremony was not so much a life-changing one, but a confirmatory step in my spiritual life. Baptism to me is the badge that says I believe, and I am eternally grateful, and I am not going let this second chance slip though my fingers. Baptism is the “tattoo” I always wanted. I am a Catholic. I believe in Christ, and he believes in me. – Reshma